Why I Ignored Ted Williams’ Brush With the Law

The golden days are over.

Ted Williams, the instantly famous homeless man with a velvety baritone voice, was detained by the LAPD yesterday after an altercation with his daughter led to a disturbance call.

I saw the story peppering my newsfeed all through yesterday and just scrolled past in active denial. Why? For the same reason I still wail “don’t do it!” every time the main characters split up in a horror movie. We all know what’s going to happen: aliens will rupture chest cavities, killer piranhas will feed on them one by one, the most annoying character is going to get injured and slow everyone else down—and in the end, everyone’s dead except for the main character and maybe a love interest (if they’re lucky).

Except for Williams, his gauntlet of monsters is us. [Continued]